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Assorted Congratulations Forum for plaudits and kudos for all occasions

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Old October 11th, 2014, 01:24 PM   #31
Sam Flynn
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Back in the early 1970's, I had a Mexican friend who once ate so much hot food at a party that he had to go and lie face down on the grass in the front yard of the homeowner...
Thanks for that, How. Reminds me of when, in my younger days, I worked at a pizza restaurant in Swansea. We had a regular customer - oddly enough, from Mexico - who was a mature student at the local university. He invariably ordered a "spicy hot" pizza, and boasted that he could handle any amount of chillies. And... er... he could.

Sorry, no funny ending. This was the 1980s, and about the deadliest chillies we could get hold of back then were mere Scotch Bonnets. Pretty scary then (albeit not to a Mexican), but not anymore. I could probably eat them raw for breakfast
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Old October 11th, 2014, 01:29 PM   #32
Paul Colwell
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Here's the effect on an innocent virgin never before exposed to Phal (Phaal). I have to note that all the Phals I ever had were a venomous red colour. Still - this should give some idea of what carnage they can do

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cWQCdLw_2U
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Old October 11th, 2014, 02:09 PM   #33
Lynn Cates
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Default Pass the flavour.

Hello Dave. Thanks.

"I should keep those for Howard's Scrapple if I were you... "

Why not? Scrapple does need SOME flavour. (heh-heh)

Cheers.
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Old October 11th, 2014, 02:15 PM   #34
Lynn Cates
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Hello Gareth. Thanks.

Actually, you are correct. I was asking the Mrs whether it were an "a" or "o" before I replied to Tim.

So I just remembered (to my chagrin) the Bizet ditty. Of course, that's the Angela Gheorghiu version. (heh-heh)

Cheers.
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Old October 11th, 2014, 02:20 PM   #35
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Hello Howard, Gareth. Hmmppphhh. You must try the pico de gallo here in Pflugerville. You'd beg for a margarita.

Cheers.
LC
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Old October 11th, 2014, 03:19 PM   #36
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So I just remembered (to my chagrin) the Bizet ditty. Of course, that's the Angela Gheorghiu version. (heh-heh)
...as you'll notice, the Carmen in that YouTube clip I posted is a fine soprano also
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Old October 11th, 2014, 04:21 PM   #37
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Hello Gareth. Thanks.

Not bad, but definitive is definitive.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=axvhEUyVfX0

Cheers.
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Old October 11th, 2014, 06:17 PM   #38
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Lovely, Lynn. Many thanks. I've seen "La Gheorghiu" live a number of times, but never as Carmen. She's a most affecting performer, with a beautiful, silvery voice.
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Old October 11th, 2014, 06:23 PM   #39
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Hello Gareth. Thanks.

And ANYONE who must sing opera in French has my profoundest sympathies.

Cheers.
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Old October 11th, 2014, 06:49 PM   #40
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Chili Cook-Off

This is supposedly an actual account as relayed to paramedics at a chili cook-off in Texas. Note: Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better. For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook-off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the San Antonio City Park.

Judge #3 was an inexperienced Chili taster named Frank, who was visiting from Springfield, IL.

Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table, asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy; and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted and became Judge 3." Here are the scorecard notes from the event:

CHILI # 1 - MIKE'S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI...
Judge # 1 - A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2 - Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
Judge # 3 (Frank) - Holy crap, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out! I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.

CHILI # 2 - AUSTIN'S AFTERBURNER CHILI...
Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
Judge # 2 - Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.

CHILI # 3 - FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI...
Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick.
Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers.
Judge # 3 - Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting shit-faced from all of the beer.

CHILI # 4 - BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC...
Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 - Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not
much of a chili.
Judge # 3 - I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. This 300 Ib. woman is starting to look HOT...just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?

CHILI # 5 LISA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER…
Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive!
Judge # 2 - Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted, and four people behind me needed paramedics The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really ticks me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw them

CHILI # 6 - VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY...
Judge # 1 - Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.
Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb!
Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I crapped on myself when I farted, and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone.

CHILI # 7 - SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI...
Judge # 1 - A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 - Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. **l should take note that I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be a bit of
distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing.
I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.

CHILI # 8 - BIG TOM'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI…
Judge # 1 - The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 - This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that
most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down
on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. poor feller, wonder how he'd have
reacted to really hot chili?
Judge # 3 - No Report ---
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