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Old May 23rd, 2014, 04:43 PM   #21
Cogidubnus
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A perky old pervert called Puckenham
once lean't on the bridge at Buckingham
observing the stunts
of the c..ts in the punts
and the tricks of the pricks that were f***ing'em


I had a very much mispent youth

Dave
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Old May 23rd, 2014, 06:02 PM   #22
Phillip Walton
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There was a young vicar named Bings
who condemned loose women and things
but his secret desire, was a boy in the choir
with a bottom like jelly on springs.
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Old May 23rd, 2014, 06:11 PM   #23
Phillip Walton
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There was a young man from Devizes
whose balls were two different sizes
one was so small it was nothing at all
the other so big it won prizes.
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Old May 23rd, 2014, 06:18 PM   #24
String
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There was a young girl from Nantucket,
You crossed the sea in a bucket,
When she got there, they charged her a fare,
So she lifted her dress and said fk it.
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Old May 23rd, 2014, 07:45 PM   #25
Howard Brown
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I'm in heaven with the limericks !
Thanks men...and you too, String !
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Old May 24th, 2014, 08:09 AM   #26
Cogidubnus
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Default There's not really a home for this and so I feel I must place it here...

My haiku is flat.
Alas some prat has parked
his tanka upon it
...
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Old May 24th, 2014, 08:22 AM   #27
Cogidubnus
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A charming young feller named Mick
once tried to compose a lim'rick;
the trouble you see
is quite plain to me;
he tried to put far too many words into the last line and the damn thing neither scanned nor rhymed...
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Old May 25th, 2014, 01:01 PM   #28
Phillip Walton
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There were two young girls from Grimsby
who cared not were their limbs be
without a doubt
they spread them about
'till the police got a call from a NIMBY.
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Old May 25th, 2014, 03:47 PM   #29
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A fellow named Œdipus Rex
Decided that he would change sex;
He was charged 40 drachmas
For removing his "nackmers" -
Thank God they take Travellers' Cheques!

"By Jove!", cried a young man of Sparta
With a mouthful of taramasalata,
"I've been charged 40 drachmas
For a large plate of nackmers -
So much for the Citizens' Charter!"

(Limericks improvised by Barry Cryer, Paul Merton, Willie Rushton and Tim Brooke-Taylor on the BBC's I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue, circa 1996)
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Old May 31st, 2014, 02:12 PM   #30
Cogidubnus
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There was a young Belgian of Ghent
whose dick was so long and so bent,
to save himself trouble
he'd put it in double
and instead of coming, he went.
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