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Weekly Caption Contest Finally, a reason to look forward to Mondays! Contests end each Monday and a new one then begins for the week.

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Old April 25th, 2017, 06:50 AM   #41
Caroline Morris
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Colin Macdonald View Post
Non JtR:

MRS BROWN OF SIDMOUTH: "Chelsea, Chelsea, Chelsea, CHELSEA! Chelsea, Chelsea, Chelsea! Chelsea, Chelsea, Chelsea CHELSEA! CHELSEA, Chelsea, CHELSEA!" .

MR BROWN OF SIDMOUTH: "You can be a real pain in the arse sometimes. Do you know that?"
Have you installed cameras in our sitting room, Colin?
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Old April 30th, 2017, 07:08 PM   #42
Robert Linford
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Time to vote.
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Old May 1st, 2017, 05:41 PM   #43
Colin Macdonald
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The votes from Darkest Bottesford:

JtR:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Robert Linford View Post
DOOR OPENS. ENTER FISH AND ED.

WOMAN : Who the hell are you?

FISH : We're from the future and we're here to see a Ripper murder.

WOMAN : So are we.

ED : Oh no! United Timelines have overbooked.

WOMAN : You'll have to leave.

FISH : Says who?

ENTER GUARDS.

FISH : Put me down!

ED : Hey, you're squashing my saveloy.

FISH : I shall write to the Times about this.....
Non JtR:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Robert Linford View Post
MRS BROWN OF SIDMOUTH : So! My team won.

MR BROWN OF SIDMOUTH : As we intended.

MRS BROWN OF SIDMOUTH : Eh?

MR BROWN OF SIDMOUTH : This ensures we will stay fresh for the title run-in. You have been caught out, Caz.

MRS BROWN OF SIDMOUTH : I haven't inadvertently married Christer Holmgren, have I?

MR BROWN OF SIDMOUTH : Of course not.

MRS BROWN OF SIDMOUTH : Hey! Why is this gun falling apart in my hands?

MR BROWN OF SIDMOUTH : I've just opened some surstromming. Care for some?
HB:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Robert Linford View Post
AGENT BROWN : Mary Kelly? I'm here about Fenian Fire.

KELLY : Fenian what?

AGENT BROWN : Fire.

(BANG)
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Old May 1st, 2017, 05:43 PM   #44
Robert Linford
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Colin, I think our cheques must have crossed.
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Old May 2nd, 2017, 07:07 AM   #45
Caroline Morris
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And the votes from Sidmouth:

Ripper:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Howard Brown View Post
"Okay, Mary, okay ! You can walk the streets !!!!"
Non-ripper:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Colin Macdonald View Post
That embarrassing moment when a flasher prepares to get his tackle out, only to realise that he's put his bum on the wrong way round.
HB:
Quote:
Originally Posted by String View Post
"Okay Detective Brown when I pull this cord my huge artificial breasts will explode killing you instantly. Have you any last words?"
"Can I have a wee feel of them first?"
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Old May 6th, 2017, 07:05 PM   #46
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JTR - Caz -






SHERLOCK HOLMESGREN [IN DRAG] : See that,Ed? I've shot and killed Lechmere for looking at me in a funny way. Jack the Ripper is no more!

DR ED WATSTOW [OFF] : Then how come he's still standing?

SHERLOCK HOLMESGREN : Elementary, my dear Watstow. Trigger mortis.


Non-JTR - Caz -






As Mrs Brown of Sidmouth brandishes her water pistol in readiness for Saturday's FA Cup semi final, Mr Brown ofSidmouth takes evasive action by putting on a hideous protective mask.


HB - Colin -




Nina didn't belief Howard's boast that he could catch the bullet in his teeth but he managed it. The projectile went straight through his head, on through the bedroom wall and wedged in his dentures which were on a shelf in the bathroom cabinet.

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Old May 7th, 2017, 07:03 PM   #47
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JTR - Caz, How and Robert 1 vote each.


Non-JTR - Caz, Colin and Robert 1 vote each.


HB - Colin, Robert and String 1 vote each.
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